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TUESday 030904
1045pm >> my dad is coming tomorrow sometime in tha morning. i aint gonna go to my meeting tomorrow. probably just chill at home and then if my dad aint too tired he'll probably take me someplace to go cruize. if anything then i might bring nicole& brandy with me. i heard this real dope song called "goodbye" i dunno who sings it though. no its not tha one from jagged edge or alicia keys. it sounds lyke a group w/ a female singing tha hook. but sooner or later i'll find out.

<3 XAV!ER  baby, you're probably sleeping or something rite now..probably in pain  cuz of tha braces? idk, but wherever you is and whatever you're doing, i hope you're g double o d and o0o0oo-tay

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think..whats love?
are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?
it isnt love, its LIKE.
you cant keep your eyes or hands off of them, right?
it isnt love, its LUST.
are you proud, and eager to show them off?
it isnt love, its PRIDE.
do you want them because you know they`re there?
it isnt love, its LONELINESS.
are you there because its what everyone wants?
it isnt love, its LOYALTY.
are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
it isnt love, its LOW CONFIDENCE.
do you stay for their confessions of love, because you dont want to hurt them?
it isnt love, its PITY.
do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
it isnt love, its INFATUATION.
do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
it isnt love, its FRIENDSHIP.
do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
it isnt love, its a LIE.
are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
it isnt love, its CHARITY.

does your heart ache and break when they`re sad?
then its LOVE.
do you cry for their pain, even when they`re strong?
then its LOVE.
do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
then its LOVE.
do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there?
then its LOVE.
do you accept their faults because they`re a part of who they are?
then its LOVE.
are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
then its LOVE.
would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
then its LOVE.

SUNday 030704
0719am >> damn its way too early for me to be awake. my mom and my brother came in my room and jumped on my bed to wake me up, when i told them to get out, my mom tackled me. wtf. im sleepy but i cant sleep. i didnt talk to my baby yesterday..at all. he wasnt picking up his cell. and zach said he wasnt home. oh brother. im not doing good. not at all. my mom told me that my auntie from cali is coming on tuesday..just to spend tha night. and she told me that my dad is coming down too. sometime this week but she wont tell me when. she wants it to be a surprise. i hate surprises..in some cases.

wheres all tha c o m m e n t s at..you bastards dont leave any anymore

oh, and happy 15th birthday tavon. you bitch. j/p

SATURday 030604
0558pm >> today was a "so-so" day. i didnt get to talk to my baby. i tried calling his cell when i got home but its off. i have no clue where he's at. i miss him  yesterday we made two months. but i didnt get to spend time with him.

tomorrow nicole is coming over cuz my mom wants to take her to church with us. she asked me if i wanted to go movies with her, kaneesha and brandy tonite to watch passions of the christ but i didnt even bother to ask cuz i knew what my mom was gonna say anyway..and besides im tired

im finally on spring break. i guess i have less to worry about now. no more getting up early in tha morning. no more rushing to finish my homework. all for 3 weeks. damn i wish it was longer. yesterday my girl sjahdae wanted to fight with this chick madison, but she couldnt cuz she got a tetnis shot or whatever in her arm tha day before. lol, next time dae . then jeanette wanted to fight with this other girl i forgot her name. one of madison's friends. cuz she was eyeing jeanette out and talkin shit on tha courts. we tried looking for her after school cuz jeanette was gonna beat her ass, but her friend's said that she went home. lol chae wanted to go to tha girls house but we all just said nevermind. so then me, sjahdae, and chelsea all left school to go catch tha bus home. on our way there, we past by hoku's and there were choke ass filipino boys over there. we were wondering how come they were all there. but we just walked past..cuz we wanted to go to tha other bus stop where theres shade. when we were half way there we heard shouting and shit..we looked back and saw that a whole bunch of people were crowding around "something"..chelsea made me and sjahdae run ALL THA WAY BACK to see what was going on. by tha time we got there, tha fight was over already. (james and cam fought.....again) and now cameron wants to fight ONCE again. just a little while ago i tried calling my cuz francis to see what he was up to, but my auntie reinette answered his cell and told me that he was with cameron. they probably went to the beach or something, but idk..